Smurfman's Advice Column

From: Jane Doe
Dear Mr. Smurfman,
I have found this innocent little boy that has ran away from his abusive father. The boy does not know that i know who he really is. I feel as though i should keep and take care of him, but i'm not sure if turning him over to the authorities is the right thing to do. What do you think i should do Mr. Smurfman?

Well Jane, if the boy had the guts to run away from his father, out into the world alone, then i reckon it was for a good reason. I'm sure i would rather have a nice caring mother than a drunken, abusive father.

From: John Doe
Dear Mr.Smurfman,
Times are tough, i'm a traveling entertainer and i have been having no luck in bringing home the bacon the past few weeks. I have this here run away niger, thats worth $200 if i take him up river about 300 miles to his owner. I was made an offer of forty dollars on the spot if i sold him in the area i'm in now. What should i do?

Well John, i'm no fan of slavery, so i would tell you to take him north. But if you must sell him, i would tell you to take the forty dollars. Seeing that you wouldn't have enough money to make a journey back up the river.

Slavery Needs To Be Abolished!

Slavery is immoral and needs to be abolished!  Slavery in the United States has showed to be inhumane. Slave holders in the South treat their slaves as if they were nothing but dirty monkeys. Why should it be legal for a man to be taken out of his country, only to be taken to a  place where he works long, hard days. Only to be beaten, without any pay. There is no need for slaves now with the advancement of technology. Slaves hold little to no value, especially now with the inventions of these new farming machines. Why have an army of workers in which you have to provide for, that have no enthusiasm in working? Instead of having a few good men, that can operate extremely fast farming equipment? Slavery is outrageous and needs to be destroyed!

A Story Of Two Frauds : The Wilk's Family Incident

This story all began after the death of the beloved, Peter Wilks'. Shortly after his death, his brother's  (Harvey and William) from England are notified, and they said they were on the way. When the brother's finally arrived(the two frauds), they were sobbing and comforting their nieces  Peter Wilks' gave all of his possessions to his brothers and divided 6,000 dollars between his daughters, Harvey, and William.  A local doctor notices characteristics about the brothers, that seem off, which led him to believe they were frauds. When the doctor tried to convince the daughters that those two men were frauds, the daughters gave all their money to their uncles to prove they had faith that they were their true uncles. The next morning Joanna, one of the daughters, ask who we know as Huckle Berry Finn, a series of questions about England. See Huck was in disguise at the time. Huck is almost busted, but amazingly gets out of dodge. Huck's better side of him got the best of him and couldn't let the two frauds take advantage of the girls and their money. Huck found out where the frauds were hiding the money by spying on them. So he took the money and waited for an opportunity to return it to the girls. One things leads to another and Huck ends up hiding the money in Peter Wilks' coffin. The money is buried the next day with Peter Wilks' at his funeral. The frauds announce that the estate would be sold in two days, which is when they planned to run off with the money. Huck comes up with a plan. He tells Mary Jane, one of the daughters, to run off for a day and tells her where the gold is hidden. Shortly after Mary Jane runs off, the real Harvey and William appear. Only a few people believe them, and they said they could prove it when they got their baggage. The two sets of brothers are interrogated  everybody is pretty sure that the new brothers are not frauds, but cannot confirm this until they exam the body to figure out what tattoo Peter had(they asked what tattoo he had). When they opened the coffin they discover the money was in there. Huck and the two frauds gave everybody the slip while they were focused on the money.

Pages cited: Chapters 25-30

The Feud: Grangerford's and Shepardson's

      Well folks, i haven't quite heard of a family feud as great as the Grangerford's and Shepardson's since the Hatfield's and the McCoy's. It's uncanny that they're almost exactly the same. Anyways, as you know the famous Huckleberry Finn has released his new new book today, Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn. Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn sheds some light on the feud between the Grangerford's and the Shepardson's, and today i plan to discuss it.

Huck mentions the Grangerford's as comforting and wealthy. The Grangerford's have a son named Buck who is close in age to Huck, they both become good friends. Once Buck took Huck out huntin. When they were out huntin, young Harney Shephardson was riding by casually on his horse. Buck simply takes out his gun and shoots at him,  but Buck misses( i reckon Harney was a holy boy). Harney came back around and had a chance to shoot Buck, but he just rides off instead. Huck reckons he was just going back for his hat.  It's funny how in the book Huck mentions that Buck said that the feud has been going on for so long that nobody remembers what they're are fighting for. Well what is the point of shedding blood if you don't have a cause!? Later Sophia Grangerford asks Huck to retrieve her Bible from the church. When Huck went to pick up the Bible a piece of paper fell out, and it read " half past two". Huck knew somethin was up but didn't mention nothin to nobody. One of the Grangerford's slaves takes Buck to where Jim was hidin later in the day, and boy was Huck happy. Later Huck returns the Grangerford's house and goes to bed. When Huck woke up, there was not even a mouse in the house. Huck finds a slave and he tells Huck that Sophia left in the night, they reckon she's tryin to get across the border with that Shephardson boy. The Grangerford's were up in flash, tryin to reach them before they reached the border. Everything past here was bloodshed and sorrow. Huck still wonders if he could have made a difference if he had told somebody about the suspicious note.

Pages cited: Chapters 17-18